


Hard Left Turn: Citadel

by Flyingicecreamtruck



Series: Hard Left Turn [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Thane Krios Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-06-01 13:23:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flyingicecreamtruck/pseuds/Flyingicecreamtruck
Summary: Of course I have a clone, Shepard thinks somewhat hysterically, why wouldn't I?





	1. Shepard

_Of course I have a clone_ , Shepard thinks somewhat hysterically, _Why wouldn't I? Why can't I ever have a normal day?_ All she had wanted for this shore leave was time alone with Thane, to give him good memories, in case...God damn it, why couldn't she have this one thing to her self?

“So that's how it's gonna be.” Wrex muttered, on her left.

On her right, Thane hissed. She jumped, startled, head whipping around to stare at him. She'd never heard a sound like that come out of him. Was his throat inflating?

Movement caught her eye. She quickly turned back to find her clone ( _fuck_ ) staring at Thane with a look of contempt. “Disgusting. At least that one was human,” she said, gesturing at the catwalk above them, where Kaidan was being held at gunpoint with the others. “Though I would have saved the other one on Virmire. Ashley Something? Did you let her die so you could-”

All right, that was it. As her clone turned to issue orders, Shepard grabbed her dropped pistol and fired at the model Citadel hanging above them. It crashed to the ground, and everyone scattered as the fight began anew.

“Uh, Lola, is Thane okay? He just killed like 7...make that 9-”

As she lined up a shot in her sniper scope, a flash of green caught her eye and a split second later, the body of one of the Cat6 mercs went flying over railing and hit the ground. Several more followed in quick succession.

“Spirits, man!” Garrus shouted, somewhere above her. “Save some for the rest of us!”

Stomach twisting in worry, she fired, dropping the merc that was getting too close to Liara. Was Thane all right? There was no time to think, however, soon the mercs are dead and her clone has pushed further into the archives. The fight takes them through the iridium vaults and onto the Normandy and Thane is a silent, deadly shadow at her side.

It is his hand that clamps around her wrist, keeping her from falling out of the open cargo bay door, as Wrex hauls them to safety. She clings to Thane in a moment of vertigo as the Normandy shifts again, before standing and turning to her clone. Despite everything, Shepard finds she cannot let her die. She has been used and abandoned by the Illusive Man and Brooks. But her clone refuses her hand and lets herself drop, understanding in her eyes. Brooks is dealt with quickly and it is an exhausted group that finds its way back to her apartment.

“Do you know what's needed after a long day of fighting evil?”

“A nap?” She asks, only half listening to Joker. Thane is really starting to worry her. As she watched him, he shut the blinds that stretched across the large windows and then paces from one end to the other, back and forth like a caged animal.

“No, a party!”

 _Seriously?_ They are nearly at the point of no return. Once they took down the Illusive Man, it was straight on to Earth. After a moment, she sighed and agreed. Joker was right. The crew did need something to take their minds off of the war, just for a little bit. After inviting half the crew Joker leaves and she finally turns her attention to Thane, who is now standing on the second floor landing, hands gripping the railing, watching the door with a single-minded focus.

The only other time she had seen Thane so agitated was the day she had told him she would have to turn herself over to the Alliance to face justice for what she had done at Aratoht. Thane had taken this to mean she would be handed over to the Batarians. For a moment, he had been willing to take on the Alliance and the entire Hegemony for her. Thankfully, she had been able to talk him down.

What was it that had freaked him out so much? Was it her clone? He was the one who had reassured her when she had wondered if it were possible she wasn't really Shepard. Concerned, she started up the stairs. Thane did not turn to look at her as she walked towards him. Under her hands, he was rigid with tension. “Hey,” she murmured, sliding an arms around his waist, “Talk to me.”

Thane reached for her free hand, squeezing it tightly. It took him several tries to speak and even then it sounded like the words were being forced out of him. “I know it was not you, but that thing...it had your face. When it looked at me, there was nothing there. None of your warmth or light, or love. It was as if-” He trailed off as tears slipped down his face.

Tears filled her own eyes as she wrapped her arms around him. As if he were looking at her corpse. “Oh Thane.” For a moment they stood, clutching each other tightly, before she pulled back. “Come lay down with me.” She really did need that nap.

As they settled into bed, face to face, she pressed a kiss to his forehead, brushing away his tears. Her fingers slid down to his throat, thumb stroking the spot where his frills met his scales. Slowly, she felt the tension bleed out of him. “Remember our plans for when this is all over,” she whispered, feeling like a liar. After Thessia, she wasn't sure of anything. “We're going to find you that desert.”

“And I will show you Kahje.”

“After that, we're going to retire, some place warm and sunny, with a house that has a pool and extra rooms for Kolyat and when the crew decides to abuse our hospitality.”

That got a small smile from Thane. “And you want a garden as well, like you had when you were a child.”

“Did I ever tell you that we used to raise goats?” she asked, pressing her luck. “So, we'll have those too.”

“What ever you wish, Siha. Though I am unsure of what a goat is.”

“A small, four legged mammal that produces milk. You can make cheese and other things from the milk.”

Thane frowned. “They are different from cows?”

“Yes, and way more fun too! You'll love them.” Thane did not looked convinced as she gently nudged him onto his back so she could curl up against him. “Just think, Thane Krios, one time assassin, turned farmer. It's going to be amazing.”

“I look forward to the memories.” Thane murmured, nuzzling her hair.

 _God, you fucking idiot. Stop getting his hopes up._ She wanted to confess, but the crew, including Thane, needed her to be unwavering in her dedication to the fight. They were so close to the end, she couldn't show any weakness now. Besides, she really was tired and Thane's fingers were in her hair, the way she liked. She pushed aside those dark thoughts and tightened her grip around his waist as she felt her eyes slip shut. Hopefully she would dream of happier things.


	2. Invite Kolyat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander, if you have some time, I would like to speak with you. Please let me know what time would be convenient for you.
> 
> Kolyat Krios

_Commander, if you have some time, I would like to speak with you. Please let me know what time would be convenient for you._

_Kolyat Krios_

Despite her curiosity, Shepard could not help but smile. Kolyat's email was so formal, just like Thane had been in the beginning. Were all Drell like that, or was it something Kolyat had inherited from his father?

She had the apartment to herself this afternoon. Thane had gone with Jack, Garrus and Vega to Armax Arsenel. She hoped they wouldn't get him into too much trouble. After sending Kolyat a reply to come over whenever he was ready, she puttered around the empty apartment until his answer came through. He would meet her at the apartment in an hour.

Kolyat arrived exactly an hour later, a box under his arm, and looking nervous. With a smile, she gestured towards the couch near the fireplace where she had laid out a variety of snacks, both Human and Drell. He sat the box on the table and turned to face her. “Thank you for taking the time to see me, Commander. I know you have dozens of people clamoring for your attention.”

“Not this time.” After what they had just gone through, she was done. Anderson had ordered her to relax and recharge and that was what she was going to do, the Counsel and anyone else be damned. “Shore leave only this trip, but even if it wasn't, I'll always make time for you.”

“That is why I am here. I know I have already thanked you for your help, but I wanted to truly show you my gratitude." He opened the box and pulled out a digital picture frame. "I have some photographs that you might like to see.”

The offer made her heart leap. "Of course I would." She stood and sat next to him as he activated it and pressed it into her hands. The picture in front of her swam as her eyes filled with tears. There was Thane, younger and far less burdened, his arm around someone who could only be Irikah. They both wore what looked like traditional dress. “Their wedding day?”

Kolyat peered over her shoulder. “Yes. Mother always said it was one of her favorite memories.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she touched the image gently. She loved Thane as the man he was now, but what had he been like back then, newly married and looking forward to the life he and Irikah would build? “She's beautiful.” Sunset colored eyes stared boldly out at her.

“I miss her so much.” Kolyat said softly, taking the frame back. She wanted to hug him, but Drell, on the whole, were not a physically demonstrative species. Thane had adapted quickly, once he had understood the human need for physical comfort. “I know how you feel. I still miss my parents after all these years. I can't imagine what it must be like for you, with that memory of yours.”

“Is it true that humans forget such things as time goes by?” Kolyat asked, peering at her curiously.

“Forget? No, not at all. Memories fade in time and that lessens the grief, but we always carry the ones we love with us.”

Kolyat nodded as he glanced down at the frame in his hand. “Sometimes I envy humans for their memories.”

“Oh Kolyat, despite how much I love your father, I wish Irikah were here to see you now. I wish neither of you had gone through that.”

That got her a look of astonishment. “Truly? What would you have done if you had never met my father?” Before she could even react to that, Kolyat's throat pulsed. “I apologize, Commander. That question was inappropriate.”

“It's all right,” she said with a small smile, “and I don't know the answer to that question.” Would there have been a way back for her and Kaidan if Thane had not been in the picture? She wasn't sure.

Kolyat set the frame aside, looking worried. “I have upset you. I did not mean-”

“Honestly, it's okay.” This time she reached out to touch his arm. “It is a bit of a personal question, but I'm not upset.”

“May I confess something to you, Commander?” Without waiting for a reply, Kolyat plunged on. “I was so angry when Father told me of your relationship. I accused him of betraying Mother. All I could see was my own pain and not how happy he was that he had found you. Even after I apologized, I didn't understand, not truly, until the day I saw his reaction to the news that Earth had fallen to the Reapers. That was a terrible day.”

_What?_ Thane had never mentioned anything about that day. She had never thought to ask. He would tell her, if she confronted him about it, but would brush it off with something like: _You had more important things to worry about then me, Siha_. With a sigh, she pushed that thought away. “I know it can't be easy to see me with your father. Humans are the same way. No one wants to see their parent move on.”

“No, it isn't, but I was wrong. Father loves you very much and he is happy with you, and I...I am happy for him.”

Her heart lept again as tears blurred her eyes for the second time that day. “Thank you, Kolyat. He makes me happy too. I hope that one day, when this is all over, you and I can actually sit down and get to know each other.”

“I hope so too.” Kolyat said, giving her a small smile.

“Good. Now why don't we get a head start and you show me more pictures.”

When Thane returned a few hours later, they had finished with the pictures, and moved on to a Blasto marathon. He gave her a long suffering look as she patted the cushion next to her, but settled next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Javik and I are going to be in Blasto 7: Blasto Goes to War. Are you impressed?” she teased, as she leaned against him. “Do you want my autograph?” Thane let out an amused huff, but did not answer. She laughed as she turned her attention back to the screen. "You're just in time for Blasto Saves Christmas. It's my favorite."

"Yes, Siha, I know." Thane said, resigning himself to his fate.


	3. Invite Kaidan

“What are we having? Canadian delicacy of some sort?”

Kaidan laughed as he straightened up from digging around in the refrigerator, two beers in hand. He opened both and passed her one. “Let's see. We have beef, we have bacon, and we have beer. The foods of my people.”

With a laugh of her own, Shepard held up her beer and Kaidan touched the bottle with his. “Cheers.”

As Kaidan turned his attention to their dinner, a comfortable silence fell over the kitchen. It felt good to just sit here with him after everything that had happened. Even before their relationship had formed, she had always enjoyed his company. _I just like having you in my life_ , he had told her back in Huerta Memorial. Despite their rocky reunion, and their argument in Huerta Memorial, Kaidan had settled back onto the Normandy with relative ease. It was good to have him back.

“Do you like to cook, Shepard?”

With a shrug, she took another sip of beer. “I've never really tried. It was foster homes after Mindoir and then I went straight to the Alliance. Thane is an amazing cook though.”

Kaidan made a faint noise as the steaks began to sizzle, the smell of garlic filling the air. She peered closely at him. Though he and Thane had been formally introduced before the Normandy had left the Citadel after the coup, they gave each other a wide berth at first. The crew had walked on egg shells for those first few days, waiting for something to happen. (“Nothing is going to happen,” Joker had told several crew members in the mess hall, when they thought she wasn't listening, “Shepard would space them both.” Joker knew her so well.)

“Is everything all right between you two? I thought you were getting along.”

“Sure. We've bonded over how you scare the shit out of us with your risky stunts.” Kaidan said, flipping the steaks.

She downed the rest of her beer in one long pull. “Bonded, huh?” She thought she had noticed something different after 2181 Despoina. She wasn't quite sure whether she should be happy or concerned.

“We'll never be best friends but we...understand each other.” As Kaidan plated the food, she walked over to the wine rack and grabbed one of the bottles Commander Bailey had sent over. “Speaking of Thane, is he okay? Wrex said he didn't react well to your clone.”

That was skirting dangerously close to The Forbidden Subject but his concern for Thane was touching. “Yeah, that's an understatement. He's all right though. But I'm not sure I've recovered yet. God, a fucking clone.” She started to laugh and, after a moment, Kaidan joined in. “It's like something out of a bad 20th century movie. I can't imagine what my face looked like.”

“Probably what my face looked like.” Kaidan adopted an exaggerated look of astonishment that made her laugh harder. “That's it! That's the look.” With a sigh, she took a sip of wine, good mood faltering. “I wonder if there are anymore out there. I know I shouldn't, but I feel bad for her. What must it be like to know that you were created as some kind of ghoulish organ donor?”

Kaidan gave her a warm smile as he picked up their plates and carried them to the dining room. “That's what I love about you, Shepard. You always see the good in everyone. Even your own evil clone who wanted to steal your whole life. And if there are anymore clones, we'll deal with them. You know the crew's got your back.”

She smiled back at him. “I'm glad you're here, Kaidan.”

“Me too, Shepard,” he said as they settled down to eat. “Me too. It's good to be back.”


	4. Invite All

Shepard glanced at James in disbelief. “Biotics win, hands down. We're talking about harnessing dark energy, here.”

“Ouch, Lola. Yeah, I hear you.” James sighed and leaned back against the railing.

“Look around you. You had to know this was an argument you couldn't win.”

“I'm sure no one here is offended,” Jacob said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“No, not at all,” Thane agreed. Kaidan and Miranda nodded in agreement.

Liara didn't seem to want to drop the matter. “I could float you right over this balcony without breaking a sweat!” she said, voice a bit too loud to be sober. Shepard had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Before she can tell Liara not to damage Vega, he is saved by Grunt's excited shout.

“Brother!” She leaned over the railing, next to James, just in time to see Kolyat walk through the door.

With a wince, she hurried down to greet him, Thane a step behind her. While Kolyat had made his peace with her and Thane's relationship, she doubted he would want anyone referring to her as his mother. “Kolyat, I'm glad you made it.” He had been on duty for most of the day but had promised to come by once he was finished. 

Kolyat gave her a small nod. “Thank you for inviting me, Commander Shepard. Hello, Father.” 

She gestured to Grunt, who was practically hopping up and down in glee. “I don't think the two of you have officially met. Kolyat, this is Grunt, of Clan Urdnot. He was with us on the Collector mission.”

Kolyat turned an gave Grunt a small bow. “I am pleased to meet you. Father has told me of his time on Tuchanka and his role as one of your krantt in your Rite of Passage.” 

“Together the three of us killed a Thresher Maw.” Grunt boasted. “Such a thing had not been done in over a thousand years. You should be proud. Your father is a worthy mate for Shepard.”

Oh shit. There was no way Kaidan hadn't heard that. Grunt had no idea what he was saying though. She had never told him about Kaidan. Wrex knew, of course, but he would never betray her confidence. Thankfully neither Grunt or Kolyat were paying attention to her.

“I do not see how this makes us brothers. Shepard is neither one of our mothers.” Kolyat didn't sound angry, thankfully, just puzzled.

“Of course not,” Grunt said, looking confused. “She didn't give birth to me; but Shepard is my battle master; she released me from my tank and under her command I was able to gain the skills needed in order to pass my Rite. You are the son of her mate. That makes us bothers.”

A familiar frown pulled at Kolyat's mouth, one that she had often seen on Thane's when he was trying to puzzle through something. “I accept that.” he finally said, giving her a small smile. Grunt's whoop made her smile.

“Do you think I should tell him that he's my nephew?” Wrex muttered from behind her, as Grunt led Kolyat away for a celebratory drink.

“Perhaps one revelation is enough for now.” Thane said, as she grinned happily at him. Her grin quickly faded as Vega leaned over the railing with a smirk.

“Hey Kid, grab that drink and tell us how you met Shepard. I bet it's a good one. We've already heard how she took on a tower full of mercs to get to your father.” Everyone looked eagerly at Kolyat. 

“Will all of you let him get settled in?” she said, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

Traynor laughed. “Not a chance!”

“We told you, Shepard, it's a right of passage now. Everyone has to tell the story of how they met you.” Tali said, following the new brothers into the living room. Cortez hurried behind the bar as the rest of the crew eagerly followed. “I'll start. It all began when I was on my Pilgrimage...”

With a groan, Shepard dropped her face into her hands. “Thane, stop them before I lose all credibility with Kolyat!”

“I have no authority to command the crew, Siha.”

Thane smothered a laugh with a cough as she shot him an annoyed look. With a louder groan, she flopped dramatically on the nearest couch, throwing an arm over her eyes. From the living room came the sound of Kolyat's voice.

“...punched me in the face and had me arrested.”

“Ha! Classic Shepard.” Wrex said, voice rising above the howls of laughter.

“I know exactly how you feel, Kid,” Zaeed said, as the laughter died down. “There I was, trapped under the flaming wreckage of the warehouse I had set on fire against direct orders, but did I get any sympathy? No, Shepard shoved a gun in my face and told me to fall in line or she'd leave me there.”

Grabbing one of the throw pillows, she pressed it against her face, letting out a muffled scream. This time Thane didn't bother to hide his laughter. A moment later, he tugged the pillow out of her hands and tapped her shoulder. She pushed herself up briefly before laying back down, her head in his lap.

“Please, that's nothing! Shepard destroyed an entire prison to get me!”

Shepard could not help the grin that spread across her face as she listened to her crew laugh and exchange stories. She loved them all so much. It would have been impossible for her to come this far without them. And she could not imagine finishing this fight without them beside her.

Thane's fingers touched her cheek. “It is good to see you smile.”

She hadn't been doing much smiling after Thessia. “I almost told Joker no, when he suggested this, but I'm glad I didn't. It's good to have everyone under one roof.”

Before Thane could say anything, a yell came from the living room. “Shepard! We need more food!”

“On the other hand...” With a sigh, she pushed herself up as several of the crew wandered over. “What do we need?”

“Lt. Cortez mentioned fish and chips and chocolate lava cake.” EDI said, “I will be glad to place the order, with your permission.”

“I haven't had fish and chips in ages. Yes, let's order that. Anything else?” Suggestions flew fast and thick and a half hour later, a jaw-dropping amount of food and alcohol arrived at her door. Everyone began to break off into groups after that. 

She left Thane in the living room with Wrex, Javik and Zaeed as they exchanged old war stories and went to check on the rest of the crew. Grunt had returned to his doorman duties. In the game room, Vega had gotten a poker game going; Liara sat frowning at the cards in front of her as Joker explained the rules to Kolyat. Next to Kolyat was Kaidan.

“Are you sure you want to do this again? Didn't James clean you out last time?”

Kaidan shot her a look. “I need to win back my dignity, Shepard.”

“I'll do you one better, L2. You win this first round and I'll tell you Esteban's favorite foods. A way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?”

“What?” She gaped at Kaidan as a blush spread across his cheeks. “How long has this been going on? Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? What-”

“Shepard, please!” Kaidan's blush deepened. “We're just....talking.”

“They've gone out together every day since we docked.” Liara said, not looking up from her cards.

“Have you been spying on us?” Kaidan looked mortified.

“Of course not,” Liara said, flicking two cards at Vega. “I'll take two, please.”

Kaidan gave her a beseeching look. “All right, all right.” Taking pity on him, she left them to their game, and followed the sound of music. A dance party had formed off the kitchen, and with a grin she joined in, to the delight of the crew.

“Captain on deck!” She grinned at Cortez. He had seemed happier in the last few days. She was glad Kaidan had something to do with that. They both deserved some happiness.

“We should record this, and broadcast it to the Reapers!” Garrus said. “They'll either run away, melt down, or fall in love.”

Her sigh was lost amid more laughter. “Thank you all for your loyalty and support.”

The party went on, filled with laughter and camaraderie, and as the clock crept past midnight, things began to settle down. Before anyone could escape, she called them all into the front room for a photograph. She wanted a memento of tonight.

After she made the rounds, ensuring everyone was bedded down properly, she turned to find Thane waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. He lead her upstairs, hands and mouth roaming hungrily as he pressed her down onto the bed.

It was odd, she mused later, the apartment quiet and dark, with Thane drowsing beside her. Kolyat had envied her human memory but this was one time when she wished she had a Drell's memory. A picture was fine, but to remember every moment with perfect clarity...

“Siha?” She turned her head to look at Thane, heart twisting as he blinked sleepily at her. She loved these moments with Thane, when he was completely unguarded and vulnerable. In those moments, he wasn't Thane Krios, notorious assassin, but simply the man she loved. “You should be resting.”

“Sorry, I'm just thinking.” Thane's arm tightened around her waist in a silent question. “Tonight was perfect; everyone together and happy. I want to remember it...would you...” She trailed off, suddenly unsure of herself. “Is it rude to ask a Drell to share memories? I don't want you to think that I see you as my own personal flight recorder.”

“Of course not.” Thane propped himself up on an elbow, smiling down at her. “What do you wish of me?”

“Will you remind me of tonight, when things get bad?” Sometimes it felt as if she were clinging to sanity by her fingernails; and that Thane is the only thing keeping her from plunging over that edge.

“My memories are yours, Siha.” Thane murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Tears stung her eyes. “What would I do without you?” 

“You would see this through, not matter what.” Thane pulled her close and she burrowed into his arms. “But, we are both alive now, Siha,” he murmured against her hair, “and when we are not, I will meet you across the sea.”

He had so much faith; in his gods, and in her. It was both humbling and terrifying. But maybe, with his faith and her human stubbornness, they could bend the galaxy to their will, to emerge victorious and settle into the quiet life they both craved.

There were so many what-if's, but she was willing to try.


End file.
